How to talk about loss and bereavement聽
Many children and young people experience loss, change and bereavement in their lives. This may be due to experiences such as the illness or death of a friend or family member, the loss of a relationship (someone moving away or no longer being a regular part of their life), or the loss of a pet. These webpages have been put together by 天美传媒’s Educational Psychology Service to provide an overview of key information and recommended resources to help you support a child or young person with loss, change and bereavement. It is important to remember the experience of grief is unique to each person and family so adapt these suggestions as needed.
How to talk about loss and bereavement:
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Do not avoid the subject with your child, it is important to talk about loss and death
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Keep your language simple. Do not use words like ‘passed away’ or ‘went to sleep’ as children can take this literally and may think these things could happen to them. It is best to use the words ‘dead’ or ‘death’. Young children may need to have this explained further
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Be honest and open with your child. Take into account their age and understanding, telling them basic facts and responding to the questions they will have
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Many young children are likely to repeat questions and all children will need time, support and patience to help them to process and understand the situation
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Children often need reassurance that the death was not their fault and that it will not happen to them or someone who is caring for them
The short film below from Bereavement UK gives some more tips on speaking to a child about loss and bereavement.
Books
Books can be a very helpful way of supporting children to understand death and loss. Here is a selection of books which have been reviewed positively.
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When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness by Marge Eaton Heegaard
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The Invisible String by Patrice Karst & Joanne Lew-Vriethoff
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Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley
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As Big as it Gets – Supporting a Child When Someone is Seriously Ill – Winston’s Wish
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Out of The Blue by Julie Stokes & Paul Oxley (A book for teenagers)
Child Bereavement UK and Winston’s Wishes both have some really helpful advice on other books and resources that can support conversations.